IN WHICH Ross Rheingans-Yoo, a sometimes-poet and erstwhile student of Computer Science and Math, oc­cas­ion­al­ly writes on things of int­erest.

# Modest Proposals

edit: Long after the fact, this is probably the post that makes me cringe the most. I was young and callous and foolish then; please don't judge too harshly.

Rarely in my life do I get as violently angry as when forced to coexist with a crying child. (Context: some shortsighted sap brought his child onto this airplane, and now the small one feels a need to prove to the entire cabin that yes, his lungs are still operational.) I provide three modest proposals for addressing this inconvenience, on behalf of everyone involved. (That is, in the general case. The enjoyment of this plane ride may already be a lost cause.)

### (1)

A thousand-dollar fine for the parent of any baby who begins crying on a flight.

Unreasonable? Not at all. I, for one, would pay $10 for this noise to stop right now; I'd probably pay more for it never to have happened in the first place. But let's take the conservative estimate of$10/person (judging by the